You can’t handle everything. And that’s okay.

Just accept it.
You won’t be able to meet all of your deadlines.
To reach all of your goals.

You can’t be everything for everyone.
You can’t handle everything.

It’s a fact.

I’m not saying this to bring you down.
On the contrary:
I want to save you from impending frustrations.

I would love it if the motivational bullshit out there were real.
That it was just a matter of “willpower”.
That we were, in fact, 100% responsible for our reality.
That we could manage to do anything and everything.

But that’s not the truth.

First, we’ve got our internal limitations:
our energy isn’t infinite.

Every one of us,
no exception,
needs to replenish
every
bit
of energy
that we invest in anything.

There’s no way of replenishing that energy
by trying to accomplish everything.

Our throughput is unpredictable.
Each one of us has a rhythm
that needs to be acknowledged and respected.

Just try and go against your rhythm
– speeding or braking too much,
and the incoherence will hurt you, sooner or later.

Second, we’ve got external limitations:
we have no control over the outcomes of our actions.

We have no control over how the other person will behave,
how they’ll react to us.
We have no control over several of our circumstances.

Again:
this is not supposed to discourage you.

It is meant to help you understand that you need to be mindful
about where your energy and attention are going.

It is meant to bring you awareness
that even those who seem to be making it
have a pile of frustrations they need to deal with, every day, as well.

It is meant to relieve some of the blame you might feel.
To nudge your attention towards all the yeses you’ve been saying.

And to let you know it is okay not to accomplish it all.
Make sure to accomplish what matters to you.
Start from there.

It’s already damn good enough.

Love,
Carol Miltersteiner 💛


I wrote a book narrating my journey through burnout, anxiety, and depression. It has been sold in 10+ countries and is available in paperback and ebook. Learn more

Carol Milters

Carol Milters

Writer, facilitator and investigator of burnout, workaholism and the culture of mental health at work.

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